Fireweed

Day 27 / Day 1

This morning I woke at 5:15 am.  My mind racing.  Filled with questions and ideas.  I grabbed my phone to note some of them down.  I start the mindless scrolling through my social feeds.  Sam whispers “you ok?” and to go back to sleep.  I finally get up with the sun and climb into the hot tub outside.  For reasons unexplained, the temperature is only 91 F.  Cool for the tub.  The sky is grey and I sink into the water trying to keep warm.  It snows gently.  The red buds on the trees are popping against the grey backdrop.  It is beautiful actually. 

The non-profit sector is being hit hard during the COVID-19 pandemic.  As a result, along with many people, I have lost my job.  The hardest part for me is that I liked my job.  It made me feel that I had a good purpose, that I was contributing and that I was making a difference in people’s lives.  That is the beauty of the non-profit sector.  That is why today is also day one.  Day one of joining thousands in collecting EI, joining thousands in not knowing what the future will look like career-wise.  Yes, I am still a travel advisor and can build my clientele once the world allows for it.  I say the world, as it is not just the government, the airlines, it is the people.  When people decide that they are wanting or willing to consider travel again.  My photography doesn’t provide an income.  It is a budding business; I am growing in the field.  This all leads me down a tunnel that has a bright light.  It is not all doom and gloom for this lady!

The sun is bright now outside, although it is chilly.  Definitely it is spring in Canada.  Yesterday I sat on the patio in the sun, today I am wearing a turtleneck sweater!  I plan to create, to be positive, to keep contributing to my community where I can.  I need to feel social, to feel like a part of something that is bigger than me.  I will complete my current online course and will look at taking more while I am in transition.  Last year was to be my year to “figure it out” but it looks like this might be the year that I really grow on the inside and blossom into the person I am meant to be. I will let the Fireweed inside me grow.